I have been negligent again!
It’s CampNaNo month and I have been busy writing. I’ve also been to an air show – which was completely awesome, by the way. I have been on a date or two with my boyfriend and I’ve been helping my daughter with her summer school. It’s the 7th and there’s been enough ‘stuff’ to fill up half the month already!
I have missed almost 2 full days of writing because Friday ended up being insanely busy, though good, and by the time we got home I was in so much pain I couldn’t see straight. And yesterday morning I woke up before dawn sweating and ill. It only lasted 5 or 6 hours but it was enough. I got almost the day’s word count in but it wasn’t enough. Today I am playing catch up.
And it is that catching up that lead me to write to you!
When you’re writing, are you the rigid made-an-outline-and-everything-must-follow-that-outline type? Or are you perhaps the loose-outline-we’ll-see-how-it-goes type? I used to be a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants writer. I still am, mostly driven by instinct and inspiration, but I need to do at least a vague outline now to begin and character outlines. I need to know who I’m writing about now. What they look like, where they come from. I need to know what drives them.
Sometimes those outlines don’t get completed until after the book is done though.
Sometimes those same characters interrupt and change the story. That happened to me yesterday. Now I have no real clue what’s going to happen.
Carwen was supposed to meet with her sister and one brother, Eurwen, the Earth God, God of fertility, home, hearth, etc. Instead, all four Gods showed up! And then! Seren, their mother, showed up too. I’m sitting here, watching my fingers type these things out going, “What the f*ck! Hello! This is MY story.” I swear, one of them turned to look at me and laughed. -.-
Yes, I have a vivid imagination. It’s like a … well, a movie screen isn’t right. It’s like they’ve built a world inside my head and it pans in and out as the need arises, where the action needs to be. They’re annoyed I’ve taken the time out to write here. Bully for them.
The GOOD thing is that Seren actually may have made a difference in the way Carwen will handle things.
Frankly, I had no idea Carwen was lacking in self-confidence this much. She seems so self-assured.
After Kylie ran from the room Carwen straightened her spine and tried to look like she didn’t have a care in the world as she trailed her hand over the nearest object d’art. “It’s good to see you, Mother.”
“I’m sure it is,” Seren said dryly. “Explain the presence of my granddaughter to me and why she wasn’t raised here.” As Carwen struggled to come up with something pithy, Seren chose the chair made for Eurwen, sat down gracefully and drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair. “Don’t bother telling me anything but the flat truth. Why do you have a daughter when you are, according to the humans, a virgin? And why as she reached twenty-four years old without being known by neither your father nor I?”
“Perhaps because you are blind to your children, Mother.” The words were out before Carwen could stop them and she fought to keep from slapping her hand over her mouth. At her mother’s raised brow she rushed on. “Do you not see how different I am from them? The others may be able to coexist, should they bother to try, but I cannot. I am made of fire!” The flames flared up around her. “If I am not destroying them, they are destroying me. Rhian is quite capable of drowning me until my flame is out. Eifion, he can fan the flames until I want to kill him, or he smothers me. I am always destroying everything of Eurwen.”
“What of Cadfael?”
“What of him? He’s just never there. And yet he is everywhere. There is no getting past him or away from him.”
Seren sighed. “How does Eifion deal with Cadfael?”
Carwen sat heavily on a footstool and clasped her hands together, arms straight between her knees. She looked so much like a little girl Seren just wanted to pull her into her lap and stroke her hair, as she had when Carwen was small. Finally, she spoke. “He creates a tornado that sweeps away Cadfael’s energy.”
“And why do you think that you cannot do the same? What makes you think everything you touch must be destroyed by that touch?” Seren paused as a thought came to mind. “Is that why you did not raise your daughter here?”
Carwen nodded miserably. “She is half human.”
“She is mostly you. Come here.” Seren waited until Carwen had sunk to her knees at her mother’s side and laid her head in her lap. “Have you ever seen what fire does to a forest?”
“It destroys it.”
“Does it?” Seren lifted a hand and gestured at the fireplace. Immediately the banked fire within roared to life. It licked over the mantle and around the edges of the fireplace, creating a frame. Within that frame, Seren showed a large wooded area that had been nearly razed by fire. Carwen turned her face away. “Watch!” Seren commanded.
Carwen stared unwillingly at the picture as Seren chose a spot and zoomed in closer and sped it up. Frame by frame, from beneath the ashes new life sprung up and soon the forest was tall and stronger than ever. Animals flourished and the ashes faded. “You see, my girl, your fire does a lot of good.”
“Yes, after it destroys everything.” Carwen’s voice was bitter.
Seren tugged her daughter’s hair none too gently. “There is a place for destruction and regrowth. Think about the bugs that eat the dead. All they do is destroy but their destruction does great good.” Seren grinned wickedly.
Carwen was silent for a moment then barked out a surprised laugh. “Did you just compare me to bugs, Mamma?”
“I did. Just remember that you are as powerful as your siblings, if not more so. And, just like them, you can control the level of destruction. Fire can warm things up; its heat can create wonderful things.” She patted Carwen’s shoulder. “Let me up, I must see Cadfael. What I thought I heard from him is most disturbing. Go find Eurwen and introduce yourself to your daughter. It is time.”
Rising as her mother did, Carwen frowned. “Mamma.”
“There are two prophecies.”
Seren froze inside though she tried to remain serene on the outside. “Oh?”
“Yes. Not just the one about justice coming from a human child born to a god. There’s also one about a child of Air having a great evil in his hands. It is said that ‘fire shall consume him from the inside out and only fire shall quench his thirst.’” Carwen smoothed her hand over her hair and tugged on the ends. “It says that with fire he may commit great evil or be brought to peace.”
“Does it say what this evil is?” Seren’s voice was ragged.
“No Mamma. Just that he holds it in his hands.”
Seren stood there for a long moment. “I believe that child has Ammit. Be careful.”
“Can’t you help us?” Carwen hated the pleading note in her voice. It made her feel like a little girl.
“No, eldest of my loins, I cannot. You children are responsible for this mess and you must clean it up. Go to Eurwen and then your daughter.” Seren swept out, barely maintaining a sedate pace.
See, Cadfael suddenly realized that it was The Sceptor behind the theft of Ammit. And Seren’s brain just sorted out Cadfael’s mutterings.
But! Carwen will do as she is told. I can’t wait to see how that pans out. I’m just trying to decide if that’s going to happen now or if we’re going to visit with the child of Air.
Probably now. There is a mythological beast involved here. A unicorn named Fury. He’s fantastic. I’ll tell you about him later.
Meanwhile, enjoy a little tune and the rest of your Sunday.
Oh, just on a side note. If you are interested in living healthier and you want to gain some insight on how to do that, you should follow my bestie over at Nourishment3. It’s pronounced ‘nourishment cubed’ and stands for the mind-body-spirit connection. Val has some fantastic information, you really should check her out.