Gooooooooooood morning, everyone!
It’s snowing here, which is triggering all kinds of nasty things for me (although that’s partly the return to yoga as well), but I have some great news to share so I don’t care about either.
I’ll get right to it:
NaNo was sucking hairy donkey balls. I liked the idea of the story I started out with but when it came to writing it, I just wasn’t… Well, I just wasn’t feeling it. So I dropped it and started again with something new. It’s more my style: violence and sex. 😉
I think this is a much better start than the one I had (which was a couple of women bickering):
Booze. Chocolate. And… Alexa Brenner let her eyes cruise the bar and spotted a few prospects. There was a table of some very muscle-bound men. If she squinted – and she did – she could just make out some ink on the forearm of one of them. Interesting, she thought, nice ink. Looks like Charon in his boat. I like it. Definitely a prospect to complete the trifecta: Booze. Chocolate. Sex. It’s going to be a very good night.
She could use a good night. As Avatar for Isis, she rarely got a night off. She traveled from realm to realm, slipping through portals to carry out the whims and enforce the laws of her Goddess. Thank the Gods for an assignment in the monotheistic, non-magic Realm, the first in almost a decade, that allowed her a night off. It was the most boring Realm, as far as she was concerned, but it did cause her the most grief sometimes. Six billion people on the planet, three billion believed in this one God and that the planet was only six thousand years old, the other three billion believed in a multi-armed God and his family.
Why they couldn’t be more like the other eight Realms she helped police was beyond her. Five other Realms with non-shifters in them and they all accepted the fact that there was more than one God: Egyptian, Greek, Roman, Druid and that one with all the lizards they called dragons. She snickered because it still bugged the Dragon shifters in the Seventh Realm that the humans called those animals dragons. Alexa took every opportunity possible to point out that they looked almost exactly the same. Then there were the Elf and Fairy Realms, they had their own Gods. It made Empyrean, the home of all the Gods and said to be the hidden place of the purest fire, a little crowded sometimes.
And yet, she mused as she kept an eye on the tattooed muscle man with her peripheral vision, the Gods insist on calling this place a single God Realm. There are two, and subs, if you ask me. She shrugged to herself. It didn’t matter. The Dark Elves who had tried to take refuge here and spread word that magic existed no longer existed in any Realm and she had a night off. In one hundred and twenty-eight years of fighting for Isis, beginning when she was thirteen, Alexa’d managed to have a total of six nights off and a beautiful five out of six of them had been filled with debauchery. No one said men had the sole right to debauchery. A grin stretched her face.
Alexa leaned back in her chair and shifted her long, slim legs out in front of her, crossing them at the leather clad ankles. It displayed a lot of muscle and played peek-a-boo with a good amount of flesh. Her jeans were torn in numerous places, she’d managed to clean the ash off but there was little she could do about the rips, and lots of golden skin shone through. Damn the fact that Dark Elves fought with claws and then turned to dust when they died, anyway, she thought as she picked at a loose thread. The move also lengthened her torso and she impulsively stretched her arms above her head. Her leather jacket fell open and her breasts lifted along her ribcage, pulling her shirt up to display strong, toned abs.
Pure feminine pleasure filled her as one of his buddies pointed her out and Muscle Man turned to look at her. She caught his eyes and they stared at one another for a moment. It frustrated her that his face was shadowed and his eyes were hooded so that she, with her enhanced vision still couldn’t see well enough in this darkened bar, to tell whether he appreciated what he saw. Ah well, if he didn’t, the other sure did. She kept her eyes on him but offered the table at large a jaunty grin and a saucy wink before she gave him the once over. Her lips parted on a gasp of appreciation.
Irenaus Weber grunted. “So, it is another pretty girl.”
“You’re daft.” His second-in-command, a Dragon by the name of Damir Belakova, said. “Her skin is nearly glowing it’s so richly golden.”
“Yes,” said his Light Elf Master-at-Arms Zathlen Liondale, “she does glow. It’s almost magical.” He frowned as he read the woman’s t-shirt. “I am a little put out by her choice of top, though.” The shirt said “Dark Elves Do It Hot but I Do It Better” in bright pink sparkles on a black background. “Perhaps she could do up that long jacket she wears; the denim would stretch nicely across her breasts.”
The fourth and final member of their team, the coms and tech expert, a Fairy named Florian Rosevine, laughed and slapped the Elf on the back. “Of course, you’re put out; she’s bragging on those assholes, your Dark side. And you’re right, her breasts would look lovely covered in denim.”
Irenaus rolled his eyes as he turned back around. “Knock it off, jackasses. She just flirted with everyone at this table. Clearly, she doesn’t discriminate. I am not interested in a woman like that.”
Damir scoffed. “She did not, boy. She only had eyes for you. What she did was show that she knew we were watching. Everything she’s done so far is for you. Go buy her a drink. It’s been a century since you’ve been laid.”
“A millennium is more like it,” Florian muttered into his ale as he leaned on the two back legs of the chair.
See? It has promise.
I’m still not entirely sure about the plot but I’ve managed to write close to 6k words in the last few days, (which has impressed Mike), so I’m happy.
In other, more important news:
CREATESPACE FINALLY ACCEPTED GHOSTS AFIRE!
I’ve been arguing with their file inspection process for weeks over the formatting. I used one of their damn templates and still had 4 formatting issues come up repeatedly:
- Orientation. It kept telling me that I had some pages at portrait orientation (as they should be) and some at landscape! I was like “what the fuck, buttercup?? That’s so obviously not true.” I went through the book three times, one page at a time, checking the orientation. Then I highlighted the entire document and set the thing to portrait. I noticed that the first 4 or 5 pages were the wrong size and fixed that. And yet… “Your document has two different orientations.” *tears hair out*
- The gutter was too small. Okay, so the gutter, I learned, is the part of the page that dips down into the fold/binding of the book. It’s kind of important that you don’t have your words extend into that because then your readers can’t get read the end of each line easily and it pisses them off. And what pissed off reader wants to read your book again? The parameters stated that for every book 301-500 pages the gutter had to be 0.625″. So I made it 0.625″. Word kept rounding it to 0.63 for some reason. Eventually, after submitting for the 6th time, I simply dragged the margin tab back toward the middle a bit. STILL wrong.
- Content extends into the gutter. Which makes absolute sense if the gutter was too small. Except it was exactly the size they told me to make it.
- And the fonts weren’t embedded – “But we embedded them for you.” Clearly they did not because that kept coming up again and again. …….And I just realized that they would have had to do it for every new file I uploaded. Yes, I see that. However, I read their little how-to on embedding fonts, and I read Word’s how-to, and so I embedded the fonts and LO! the next time I uploaded a changed file I got “The fonts were not embedded properly so we embedded them for you.”
After all the attempts I finally said “fuck it, it’s close enough” (because it’s readable) and hit “Ignore and save.” So now it’s heading towards my KDP bookshelf to publish on Kindle, too.
So it looks like HW3: Ghosts Afire will be published by the end of the weekend!
Can I get a “woop woop”?? 😉
I have to go now. I need to write today but firs tI have to take care of this vicious migraine that’s made sure it’s made me take three hours to write this blog.